Update from Carlos

There comes a point in time when you have to put pride aside and admit things to yourself that don’t necessarily make you feel all that great, but that are 100% true, so that you can hopefully find a solution that will allow you to move forward past the roadblock of denial. Such is the case for me right now, as time has been demanding its toll from my body and I no longer have the option or luxury of ignoring it or masking it as I did when I was a younger man. It seems it’s time to pay up.

For a long time (since I was a kid) I have struggled with breathing problems, related to various allergies and environmental factors over which I’ve had no control. I have always somehow pushed through it and have forced myself to step up to the task (singing) and just let the vibes carry me through, and often with the help of some kind of “medication”. But more and more now, that is becoming harder, if not impossible to do, and I have to take the time to recover before I can even think of performing again. It takes longer for me to bounce back these days, and I guess that’s just the way it goes. I have to be smarter about the demands I put on myself, and if I don’t do it, who will?

Also, for the past couple of years I have played through constant pain due to my worn out lower back and hip joints (osteo-arthritis, as it has been diagnosed), and as much as I hate to admit it, standing up playing guitar, dancing and singing for 2 hours feels like I’m being beat with a 2 by 4, and add to that having to move equipment before and after, it just wears me out. I used to get by with about a half dozen shots of tequila, but since I gave up that habit it has brought the painful reality to the forefront of my awareness and I have to acknowledge it and deal with it. Thankfully when the music is going I can focus on that for the time being, but once the music stops I’m in trouble, and constantly trying to play it off gets even more exhausting. For someone who has tried to live up to being known as “the iron man” it’s a hard pill to swallow, and I have to realize that even iron is prone to rust – lol! The summer gigs I have been able to manage okay, but with these extremely cold temperatures I find it takes great effort to even walk sometimes, much less carry equipment and perform.

I have finally made the decision to have hip replacement surgery, with hopes that I can regain some of my mobility and maybe prolong my ability to do what I love and enjoy it without the cloud of constant pain being cast over everything. Short of doing that, I have had the feeling that my playing days are numbered, and that has really done a hammer job on my mental and spiritual well-being, because making music and being able to channel that higher vibration has been such an inseparable part of my identity and whole being for so much of my life, and it’s hard to imagine not doing it. Back when covid hit, it was the first time having to face that stark reality, when everything just stopped, and I felt like a fish that had been washed up on the beach, gasping for my natural environment. I know that time inevitably changes everything, and that none of us are immune to its effects, but dammit, I’m just not ready to be done with that part of my life yet if I can help it. I’ll have a couple of shows next month but after that I’ll be holed up and healing from the operation. They say that these days it’s pretty routine and that I could bounce back fairly quickly if I do all the right things. So that’s my goal – to do the physical therapy, take the doctor’s advice and not push it, and allow my body to heal properly, so that as Spring arrives, I’ll hopefully be able to emerge renewed and feeling stronger than I have in a long time. I know that there are much bigger problems in the world, (don’t we know it?) but this is just my own little personal challenge that I have to face, and I just wanted to give you all the scoop, so you know what my deal is, and so that I don’t have to try and hide it because of my pride and the way I’m seen. That’s a weight I don’t need to be carrying in my current condition – ha ha!

Anyway, okay, (whew!) that’s it. I hope you all are safe and warm and that the issues you face are not insurmountable. I know I’m not alone – we all have these things in life to face and deal with, and that’s why the times we’re able to get together and lay aside the heaviness for awhile are so crucial and vital to our life-force. I hope to see you on the other side of my next hurdle so we can continue to do it some more.

Thanks for listening…

Always Peace

Always Love

Always Unity,

Los